My Broken Butt, Washing Machine, Dishwasher, Ice Machine, Garage Door……And More
By Pam Sherman | July 31, 2008
I think I’m being haunted. In the last two weeks my dishwasher, microwave, garage door opener, ice machine, washing machine, phone, cable and lighting fixtures have all broken down MYSTERIOUSLY. First I thought the house was hit by lightening. Then I thought the house was going through the seven-year itch (it’ll be seven years since we moved here in December). Finally, I realized someone is trying to tell me something. Because I am forced to stay in my home and wait for vendors to come and fix, order parts for, come back again, not show up, for all these appliances I am forced to STOP RUNNING AROUND.
And then my butt broke and I became convinced there was a message being sent. You see, I am a bit addicted to exercise. I used to hate it but then I realized the more I work out the more I can eat, and the more I work out the less I want to hurt someone at the end of the day. This is a good thing. It’s like my Prozac - - only cheaper and you don’t get fat - in fact, just the opposite. I am not crazy. I don’t work out more than an hour. I run (more like lope), I do machines and weights at my club - - a good steady healthy work-out. But little did I know that I wasn’t really fit; that I hadn’t really reached my potential (or my limit as you will see). I decided to go with some friends to a work-out called Crossfit, www.crossfit.com. Check it out. It’s quite amazing. You move cars, hit sledge hammers, squat like 500 times and in my case flip a tractor tire. Until I heard a rip in my butt as I flipped the tire. I started to cry and the wonderful man who does the training thought I was crying in pain (which I was partially) but I was mainly crying because I knew that I had done something so bad that I wouldn’t be able to work out. Now I have to eat less, and be nice to my family without sweating it out. This is hard.
But I realized the broken butt is just another in my series of broken appliances. And perhaps I’m not being haunted but the universe is telling me something: STOP RUNNING AROUND. OOOOOH. I am required to ice my butt for 20 minutes at a time. That means you have to sit somewhere with the ice for twenty minutes — and since I’m sitting around waiting for electrician, the plumber, and the appliance guy I might as well ice my butt and figure out what the universe is trying to tell me. Eat less? Sit more? Well, ok I’ll try that for a while. But no, my Crossfit guy told me I should work myself up to holding a plank for two minutes. I suppose that’s keeping still. Is the universe telling me to plank more? Who know’s? I just want to know if I can use the ice from my butt in my drink tonight since the ICE MACHINE IS STILL BROKEN!!!!!!
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July 31st, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I knew you could write something about all this–and you pulled it out of your….
very funny! Now sit down!
July 31st, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I am icing right now - - and the cubes are neon!
October 12th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Sorry it took me so long to respond to this one… we were too busy replacing OUR dryer, dishwasher and microwave that all broke at the same time. Maybe there’s a connection?
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