The Written Outlaw
“The Suburban Outlaw™,” appears bi-monthly in Rochester Magazine, published by Gannett. Titles include:
My Nanny, My Daughter, My Wife – September/October 2005
Superstar or I’m a Mom and I Play One on TV – November/December 2005
It’s All Downhill From Here – January/February 2006
Sucker Mom – March/April 2006
Pick An Age Any Age – May/June 2006
Fear and Loathing in a Bathing Suit – July/August 2006
The Rebel Wears Sweater Sets - September/October 2006
My Husband’s Girlfriend is a Bitch – November/December 2006
Sleep Tight or Else – January/February 2007
With Friends Like these Who Needs Friends – March/April 2007
Requiem for an Outlaw – May/June 2007
Love Among The Ruins – July/August 2007
Odyssey Out of My Mind – September/October 2007
Other features in Rochester Magazine include:
I Survived Mixed Greens - January/February 2006
The Art of the Double Life - November/December 2006
The Downtown Lowdown – January/February 2007
Excerpts from Rochester Magazine:
The Rebel Wears Sweater Sets, Rochester Magazine September/October 2006
Sub•ur•ban (sa bûr’ ben) adj. [ME under, near + urbs (gen. urbis), town] Characteristic of the suburbs or suburbanites.
Out•law (out’ lô) n. (1) a habitual and notorious criminal who is a fugitive from the law (2) a fierce or uncontrollable horse or other animal.
For a year now I’ve been writing under the moniker “the Suburban Outlaw™.” It’s time to define who we are—with these handy, true-life examples from my life and the lives of some of my friends.
A Suburban Outlaw™ might miss a child’s band concert to go to a drag show. A Suburban Outlaw™ believes that children’s recitals should be banned until they learn how to play piano with two hands. A Suburban Outlaw™ believes in play dates only if the children are self-sufficient—any diaper changing is on someone else’s dime. A Suburban Outlaw™ might agree to play the fortune-teller at the kids’ carnival, but she’ll get information on the kids beforehand so they come out of the tent really spooked.
A Suburban Outlaw’s™ book club will officially become “Cocktail Club” when it’s discovered that no one is actually reading the book.
A Suburban Outlaw™ will howl at perfectly manicured lawns—even her own. A Suburban Outlaw™ will go to a Silpada party for the wine and company, not to buy jewelry.
A Suburban Outlaw™ will inspire friends (and scare their friends’ husbands) with subversive ideas such as “Follow your dreams.” A Suburban Outlaw™ does not give up her entire life for the family (except when feeling really, really guilty).
If a Suburban Outlaw’s™ neighbors put up a white picket fence in the back yard, she will: (a) smile pretty (b) knock it down with a sledgehammer or (c) put up expensive curtains and close them when it all becomes too…suburban.
My Husband’s Girlfriend Is A Bitch, Rochester Magazine, November/December 2006
They do it right under my nose. He kisses her and looks back to see if I’m there. He talks baby talk to her. He goes on and on about how adorable she is, how soft she is, even how great her breath smells. She lies on her back at his feet when he arrives home from work, waiting for him to massage her—the slut. She canoodles with my man on our matrimonial bed, all the while mocking me with her big brown eyes.
My husband is having an affair with a real bitch. Well, she’s my bitch, too—our dog, Curley. Curley the bichon frise. An embarrassing little white dog for my big manly-man husband. He insists that a bichon is not a feminine dog; more like a sturdy poodle. Whatever. My big hairy man becomes jelly at the sight of this living, breathing stuffed animal.
Features developed and written by Pam Sherman and appearing in Accent Magazine Mann’s Jewelers, published by The Business Journals Fashion Group:
Fall/Winter 2006
Mann’s Musings – Nancy Mann
Multifaceted Women – Jean Howard Smith
Caring for the Community – Gilda’s Club
Spring/Summer 2007
Mann’s Musings – Rob Mann
Multifaceted Women – Kelly Gilman
Caring for the Community – Daystar
The Jewel of Rochester – The Lamberton Conservatory
Fall/Winter 2007
Mann’s Musings – A Tribute to Gertrude Mann
Caring for the Community – Literacy Volunteers